I have been having a really rough couple of weeks, no one reason in particular. It's just been rough. I think I care too much sometimes and I get hurt too easily. 

Yesterday was hard, I spent time on pinterest pinning quotes that fit my grumpy mood and whined and griped to my hubby and I was going to emotionally purge here but then I realized that I can't control anything but how I let myself react and feel. I tend to forget that and let outside things affect me more than I should.

Last night as we were sitting as a family reading scriptures and having our song and prayers. And  I had all four of my children snuggling and cuddling with me I realized that I am so loved, needed and blessed. I had everything that I needed right there with me and nothing else really mattered.  

I have the gospel, a Savior that never gives up on me, a husband that supports and loves me unconditionally, four beautiful, amazing children that need me and a strong good family.

Do I struggle every day? Yes. Do I feel inadequate? Yes. Do I let my depression and anxiety get the best of me some days? YES! But I know that I am not alone. That tomorrow is another day, another chance to become the mother, wife, sister and friend that I want to be. Tomorrow is another chance to change.

Happy Birthday Beth and Me!

Happy Birthday Makayla!

February 3rd my baby turned two! I can't believe it! It makes me sad that my baby is growing up, it really does go by way too fast. It is fun to see their personality and who they are becoming but it still makes me sad to see my little babies growing up, especially Makayla because she is our last.
She is so much fun and she really is funny, she loves to make people laugh. She is so sweet and loving. She completes our family.

Happy Birthday Makayla Marie!

Grandma Lundholm

Things have been really crazy and busy. We packed up and moved our house in a weekend, moved things into our new place and drove up to Idaho all in two days.... We planned to have more time to move in and get situated before going to Idaho for Christmas but my dear sweet grandma passed away. It's so sad but good. She isn't suffering anymore and she got to have Christmas in heaven. What could be any better than that? My poor dad has lost both of his parents now... I can't even imagine losing my parents. My grandma was one of the sweetest people I ever knew, she was so kind, soft spoken and a peace maker. I never heard her raise her voice ever, or say anything unkind, she never swore, argued or made anyone feel bad. I have the best memories of her and I love and miss her everyday.
The new place, I am enjoying the room and extra space that was much needed. The kids are loving the new school and making new friends. Dale is enjoying the short drive to work and I am missing my friends....
The best part about Christmas was getting to skype with my sister Amanda who is on a mission! It was the best thing ever! I had missed seeing her beautiful smile and hearing her laugh! She is so amazing and strong! And we got to see Bucky! (Amanda's friend who just got back from his mission) We absolutely love him and are keeping him apart of our family forever!!!!!
So that's whats new and been going on. I hope 2013 will be the best year ever for everyone!